"Kaylah! Kaylah!" My little sister called out to me, her
voice drifting in the wind, "Kay! Where are you?"
        "I'm under the oak tree, Emilie." I replied calmly.
        "Mama and daddy are arguing again," she complained, looking
down at her feet that stood on the warm dirt about 25 feet away
from me. 
        She looked up at me, smiled, and started to run toward me.
She was only 5 feet away when she tripped on a root that grew up
out of the ground. She stumbled to the ground and rolled over to my
lap where her golden curls flowed out upon my pale yellow Sunday
dress. 
        "Emilie, you really shouldn't roll around in your Sunday
dress. You know mama will get mad at you when she sees that you've
got dirt on it. Why do you have to act like such a boy?" I asked
her, raising one eyebrow.
        "I'm sorry," she said sadly, brushing the dirt off her
dress, "Kay, will you tell me a story?" she asked me, her eyes
dancing with joy, knowing I would. 
        "Well, alright, but we really must hurry back soon, before
time slips out from under us. Alright, where should I begin?" I
looked down at her, challenging her mind to come up with a
character.
        "Well, how about you start with a beautiful princess
named...Shantel!" She shouted so loudly that I jumped.
        "Alright," I said laughing, "Shantel it is! Well, once upon
a time there was a beautiful princess named Shantel, but Shantel
was a sad princess, for she had no husband to inherit her fathers
kingdom..." The story of Shantel went on and on for what seemed
like hours. Then I heard the familiar voice of my father calling us
to come home.
        "Kay! Emmy! Where are you?" My father's words drifted
through the trees and stumbled over the tall grass. We ran home as
quickly as possible, yelling to him the whole way. "Girls!" My
father cried out joyfully as we came into view, "Where have you
been? Your mother and I have been worried sick about you!" My
father said smiling as he stooped down to hug Emilie.
        "Your father was worried sick, but me, I knew you two were
probably out in the field telling stories." My mother smiled as the
words slipped from her mouth. My mother knew everything about
Emilie and I, but we liked it that way. "Come inside for dinner
before it gets cold." 
        We ate dinner then got ready for bed, and our nightly
story! We loved to sit by our father as he read out of the big
storybook, as we called it. 
        "You two ready for the story yet?" he said crossing his
arms and looking at us with his big, round, brown eyes, which only
Emilie inherited.
        "Yes, daddy." We replied in unison. Daddy read us the
story, The frog that wished to be a prince. By the time the story
was finished Emilie had fallen asleep in her father's lap. 


        "Kaylah!" I awoke to the sound of my father's frantic
voice. "Kaylah, please! Get up and help your mother!" Then I heard
it, a loud scream that came flying down the hall from my mother's
room. I jumped to my feet and ran to my parent's bedroom, knowing
that after all these months my mother would be relieved of her
pain. I sat by my mother's side, as she breathed heavily, trying to
take in as much air as possible. Her deep blue eyes looked down at
me with fear, her hair was wet with sweat, and she was warm, very
warm. I had seen my mother deliver babies before, and it didn't
look like this, something was wrong. I rushed back to my room and
woke Emilie. 
        "Emm! Emm! Get some towels with cold water... Quickly Emm!"
I shouted at her, turning my head to be sure she was running to the
kitchen for towels. "It's gonna be alright mamma." I assured her,
knowing in my heart it wasn't true. I couldn't bear to see her in
such pain; I had to do everything I could to make her happy. 
        "Here they are Kay." My little sister of 12 put her hands
out, and gave me the basin full of cold water, then handed over the
towels that were on her shoulder. 
        "Thank you so much Emm." I thanked her while frantically
wetting the largest towel to cool my mother's face and neck.
"Please Emm, wet some of these towels and cool Mama down." I tried
to sound calm, knowing that any second she was going to ask me what
was wrong.
        "Kay, what's wrong with Mama? It's just a baby, what are
you worried about?" She asked me, tilting her head, knowing that I
was trying to cover up for being so obvious. 
        "Umm, I... Just... will you..."
        "What?" She asked me raising her eyebrows.
        "Will you see where daddy has gone to?"
        "Well, I..."
        "Emilie Carise!" I yelled out her first and middle name,
showing I was angry.
        "Fine, I'll find out where he is." She said turning from
me, slowly moving with her head hanging down, looking at her feet.
        "Emm, if you don't move yourself a little faster..."
        "Fine!" She interrupted me in mid-sentence, "I'm going!"
She yelled at me angrily as she turned and ran like a scared child
would. I was scared, I didn't know where daddy was, but I guessed
he was probably getting the doctor. But I needed Emilie out of the
way. 
        "Kay! Kay!" I heard Emm shout from the kitchen. I guessed
she was probably running toward the stairs. My thoughts were
confirmed moments later when she threw herself through the door of
the room. "The wagon...is...gone..." she told me, gasping for air.
        "He probably went to get the doctor." I said knowingly.
        "Well, I am going to get Elizabeth Sanders." Emm turned to
exit, but bumped into daddy who had appeared from nowhere.
        "Kay, move out of the way." My daddy said, pushing me from
my mother's side. "Kay, get Emmy and go downstairs." My father said
sternly.
        "Come on Emm." I said with no expression, just staring at
my mother as my younger sister and I left the room. 
The next few hours went by slowly, like years. That night, two new
additions to our family were born, Jacob and Caleb. They were no
easy task, but they were adorable! Jacob had blue eyes, light brown
hair, and was a scrawny little fellow. Caleb on the other hand, had
dark brown eyes, very blonde hair, and was a little on the chubby
side! But they were the pride of our family. For months after the
twins were born family, old friends, and new friends came to see
"the adorable twins," as everyone called them. Unfortunately, my
mother was still sick. She was able to get around the house, and
was pushing herself to do as much work outside as she could. We
were constantly trying to keep her lying down, but she refused to
be any kind of burden. She was already upset by the fact she had
kept me out of school for a month. I didn't mind at first, but
then, it got to me. I hadn't seen my friends for a while. If I
didn't go to school I would be behind a grade, and most of all, I
didn't ever get to see him. I was 14 now, and very much liked a
friend of the family. The last time I saw him was about three
months after the twins were born when his mother sent him to bring
us a blueberry pie. He was one of my best friends. His gorgeous
name echoed in my ear when I thought of him, Jeremiah. But, as a
close friend, I called him Jer. He had a tendency to call me Kay
the Queen, which was what he started calling me when we were 7 or
8.  
        "Kay? Kaylah? Kaylah Anne! Kaylah Anne Smith!" My mother
yelled impatiently, walking into our backyard.
        I jumped, startled to hear my full name in use. "What!" I
yelled in surprise, almost falling off the swing that hung from the
willow tree.
        "What is wrong with you Kaylah?" My mother said putting her
hands on her hips and wrinkling her brow.
        "I...I...I was thinking... Sorry, I don't know why I didn't
hear you?" I said questioning myself. 
        "Well, I need you. My back is hurting and I wouldn't ask
for your help, but it hurts so bad," She said putting her hand on
the small of her back and turning toward the house. "Kaylah, will
you fetch some water please?" She asked politely, throwing her long
blonde hair over her shoulder to look at me.
        "Yes, Mama." I said in response, jumping off the old wooden
swing. "Do you need help getting up to your room?" I asked in
concern. 
        "No, you just get some water dear... Thank you," she
replied, her voice still soft, drifting into my ears and settling.
It was then that I realized how strong she was in her heart, but
yet so weak physically. 
        "Are you sure?" I whispered.
        No answer.
        I guess maybe she didn't hear me, or maybe she didn't have
the energy? I still don't know. I cried like a baby as a walked
down to the river.
        "Why me? Why my mother?" I managed to scream out the words
through tears. I knew she was dying. It wasn't the fact that it was
hard for her to lift a pale of water, but by other things.
Sometimes she was too weak to move, and other times she could push
herself to fetch water. That was the hardest work she could do
though. Her body was very slim and dainty. Her once strong arms
were so small and weak; she could barely lift anything. I got to
the stream and filled the old wood pale with water. In my anger, I
tried running up the hill, tears streaming from my face, but half
way up I tripped, spilling the contents of the bucket on the grassy
knoll. I didn't even try getting up; I just lay there, crying. 
        "Kay?" I heard my little sister say, as she put her hand on
my shoulder, kneeling close to me. "Kaylah? Are you okay? Did you
hurt yourself?"
        "No Emm, I'm just...Its Mama Emm, I'm so afraid. I don't
want to lose her!" I sobbed out to her, as I buried my face in the
soft layers of fabric in her dress. She ran her fingers through my
hair, trying to soothe the pain. 
        "Kay, it's alright. If..."
        "No Emm! It's not alright!" I cried out, interrupting her. 
        There was a long pause. I thought she was going to get up
and leave me lying there like a baby, crying. I wouldn't have
blamed her if she did, I was acting so childish. But she didn't,
she just pulled me closer.
"I'm so sorry Emm, I don't know what I'd do without Mama though." I
managed to let the words out under my breath and through the tears
that wet my whole face.
"It's alright Kay, I know you're hurting. I'm hurt too, I know how
you feel, don't worry, you're not alone." 
I could tell that by the way those last words came out, she had
started crying too. For the longest time we both sat on that hill,
just crying. Every now and then Emm would say something funny that
had happened in our happy past, and make us both start laughing.
"I better go back down to the river and get some water now." I said
wiping my tear stained eyes.
"No need, look at us!" Emm said to me, looking down at her dress.
We were both drenched in salty tears. 
We walked down to the river together to fetch the water that had
been asked for over an hour ago. That's when it all started. To
this day I would swear that Emm started it, but she still thinks I
did. While I was innocently fetching water Emm was splashing her
feet in the cool water, when she splashed me on purpose with water,
getting me wet. I immediately cupped my hands together and scooped
up some water to throw on her sun-dried dress. 
"Hey, Emm." I said plainly. Before she could even answer I threw
the water on her. She started laughing, then pushed me off the rock
my toes were curled around, making me fall into the water. It only
got the bottom half of my dress wet, but that was enough! "Emilie!"
I shouted, scrambling to my feet to catch her and drag her back to
the river. 
"You'll never catch me!" She shouted.
"Oh yes I will, Emilie Carise Smith!" I did catch her, and, as
planned, I dragged her back to the river and made sure she got good
and wet. But before I had time to laugh at her she pulled me down
with her, pushing me all the way under water! We had fun splashing
around in the little river for a short time before we realized we
should probably get back to the house. 


"Kaylah Anne Smith!" My mother screamed out as I walked in. I had
expected her to be in bed. "And you, Emilie Carise Smith!" We both
looked down at our wet feet with shame. "Now you two, please take
off those clothes and put something else on, I don't want you to
catch a cold."
"Mother, how are we going to catch a cold in this heat?" 
"Honey, it happens to be October 2!" 
"What does the date have to do with the heat?" Emily gasped at the
sight of me "talking back" to my mother. 
"Kay, I don't have the energy for this. Please, just go change." I
was so sorry for causing her hurt. I didn't try to. 
"Mother, I'm so sorry. Please, will you forgive me for my
behavior?" I pleaded.
"Yes, now where is that water?" She asked, lying down on the couch.
"I'll get it."
"No! Where is it?" She asked, stopping me.
"In the kitchen." I answered quickly. 
"Thank you, now, go change before your father gets home."


"No, Kay, your daddy won't like that. You know I would love to get
you back in school, but your father won't allow it."
"Please Mama, will you just talk to him, please?" I looked at her
genuinely. 
"Well, I guess I could at least talk to him."
"Oh Mama! Thank you, thank you so much!" 


"Kay, last night, as I promised, I talked to daddy."
"What did he say?" I asked as calmly as possible.
"Well, after much pleading, he said... Yes. Now, don't get..."
"Oh Mama! Thank you so much!" I said more excitedly then I'd
planned.
"Now, for school, I will buy you one new dress of reasonable
price."
"Oh, Mama! Thank you so much! A new dress!" I skipped out of the
room, then a question popped into my head, and I moved myself back
into the room. "When are we going to buy it, and when am I going
back to school?"
"Well, you can start school Monday, and we will buy the dress
tomorrow, Saturday. But please Kay, don't wake me up at the crack
of dawn."
"Alright, I won't." I said, knowing I wouldn't wait too long after
dawn to wake her, but I would try my hardest to let her sleep.


"Mama! Mama! Wake up!"
"What! What! I'm awake!" I saw my mother sit straight up in bed, of
course she was only trying to get me out of the room for a couple
more minutes of sleep, which I would allow her. 
Five minutes later I walked in her room, and there was my mother,
sound asleep. This time I gently woke her. "Mama. Mama?" I
whispered gently.
"Oh, yes, yes, I'm getting up." My mother calmly assured me,
opening her sleepy eyes that looked as though they would fall shut
any second.
"I'll be downstairs." I said to mother, turning and shutting the
door to give her privacy.

"Ready to go?" My mother asked me, so softly the words barely
reached my ears. "Well? Are we going to stand here while the day
slips away?"
"Oh no, of course not, I'm sorry Mother." I said in response,
tripping over the rug that lay in front of the door. We arrived at
"Needle and Thread" the clothing store on main street right when it
opened at 8:00. I walked in swiftly and confidently. Right when I
thought I looked quite older then my age, I saw him. Yes, I said
him, Jeremiah Wheaton. What on earth was he doing at Needle and
Thread? It didn't matter, I knew that right at the moment I saw
him, my shoulders had fallen right down to my ankles. 
"Hi Kay." Jeremiah said to me, looking back down at a dress.
"Hi Jer. What are you doing here?" I asked him, standing tall and
crossing my arms across my stomach nervously. 
"Oh, that's a nice way to greet your best friend when you haven't
seen them in over a month," he suggested, standing to his full
height and coming toward me. Little kids were intimidated by his
height, but me, I knew he was just a soft spirited, big 15 year
old. 
"Isn't it though?" I joked in response to his question. "Now, why
are you here?" I asked him, but this time he answered seriously.
  "My Mother is buying Sarah Baker a dress for her 6th birthday,
and she wanted me to come along. What are you doing here?" He asked
me, shoving his hands deep into his pockets.
"I'm buying a dress as well, for school. My Parents are letting me
go back."
"Really!" Jer yelled enthusiastically. "We missed you so much,
Kay!"
"I missed you too Jer, I mean, I... Uh... I missed you all so
much!" I fumbled through the words, trying not to make it obvious
that I had really missed him and him only!
"So when will Kay 'the Queen' be coming back to school?" 
"Monday." I said slowly, savoring the sound of my nickname that I
hadn't heard in so long.
"Kaylah Anne Smith, what are you doing?" my mothers soft voice
interrupted, breaking the spell, "We came here to get a dress, not
socialize with boys." my mother scolded, not even paying attention
to the fact that this boy was Jer. She knew Jer well and would have
fully approved that I socialize with him, had she noticed. 
"Mama, it's only Jer, I'm not going get germs."
"Oh Jeremiah! I didn't even recognize you! You have grown like a
tree since the last time I saw you!" My mother said smiling as she
gently walked over to him and threw her arms around him. My mother
adored Jeremiah almost as much as I did, she found him funny and
sweet, and would give anything to make him her son-in-law. Even
marry him off to me.
"Now mother, what were you saying about boys?" I said teasing her.
"Oh child, go on, find something," she smiled at me, and then
busied herself in conversation with Jer. I found a beautiful dress
that was better suited to someone who was 15 or 16. I was lucky
that my mother let me get it. It was pail blue, with short sleeves,
and went right below my knee. The best feature was that it wasn't
puffy. I hated those puffy things you put on underneath. When I
tried it on, I got a most unexpected response. 
"Wow. You look...Wonderful." Jer stumbled over his words, staring
at me. 
"Now, now, Jeremiah. Don't let your jaw hang open like that." My
mother teased him, even though his jaw was shut. All three of us
laughed at the comment my mother made, especially since we all knew
why she had said it. 


I stared at myself in the mirror on that breezy Monday morning. I
touched my silky hair with my hands, and pushed it up so I looked
older. I tilted my head and squinted, trying to imagine what I
would look like if I were 18. Emm walked in the room, and when my
eye caught her movement, I replaced my hands to my comb and let my
hair fall softly upon my shoulders. I took a deep breath as I
picked up a pale blue ribbon to hold half of my hair up. I tied it
slowly with care, and folded my hands in front of me when I was
done. I was quite pleased at my appearance today. 
"You look beautiful, Kay." I heard Emm whisper in awe. "I don't
think Daddy will like it though, he'll say it looks too grown up."
Emm said tilting her head, getting a better look at the figure
standing in the mirror.
"Well, mother approved it, so he'd better like it." I said, raising
my eyebrows and shaking my finger at her. Mother and I arrived at
school 20 minutes before classes were to start. I signed in, then
went to a classroom down the hall where I sat by myself for 10
minutes until Jer walked in and sat by me. 
"Hey, Kay, welcome back to school." Jer said to me, putting his
books down on the desk. "You'll probably have to share books with
me today since it's your first day back, and you don't have books
yet."
"Oh, um, yeah I probably will." I said nervously.
"Why are you so nervous? You've been lucky enough to go to school
all your life, and you know everyone here like you know your
family, why are you so nervous? Come on Kay, I mean, Kay the
Queen!" Jer joked, trying to make me laugh. 
"Ok, Jer, I'll act normal." I said through laughter. 


The Days turned into weeks, the weeks turned into months, and the
months turned into years, and before I knew it, I was through high
school. Everything was going good for me, except one thing. My
mother was getting worse every day, and now she never left the
house. The doctors always say she'll get well, but I had stopped
believing it in the 9th grade. I guess since I knew she was going
to die, I always just shut her out. I never talked to her anymore,
and I didn't feel the least bit regretful...at that time at least.
I busied myself with other things, like chores, friends, and books.
Anytime I wasn't working or with friends, I sat in my room and
buried my face in a book. I liked to read books that were joyful
and uplifting, completely unlike life at that moment. One day I
finally got up the courage to speak to my mother, who was now so
weak that she mostly used hand gestures to say something. 
"Mama." I said, entering the dark room that reeked of sickness. She
slowly got the energy to pick up her hand and wave it toward her,
as if telling me to come to her. "Mama, I know I haven't spoke to
you in a long time, but I..." She held up her hand softly,
silencing me. She stretched out her hand, and opened and closed her
pointer finger a few times, trying to get me close to her. 
"Please... Kay... Come here..." She managed to whisper into the
stale air that was much in need of refreshing. I walked toward her,
and when I got to close, her pale face turned to me, pleading for
something unknown. I knew what she needed. My mother loved the
outdoors more then anything, and that was one thing she hadn't seen
in months. "Kay... I'm dying... You know that..." She paused,
"...and I know that." I put my hands on her gentle face and asked
her to speak no more, it only hurt her. I lifted the blankets from
on top of her, and picked up her frail body. I walked softly to the
window, hoping the sun that would soon poor into the somber room
wouldn't be too much of a shock to her eyes. I placed her in the
wooden rocking chair that sat in front of the curtain-covered
window. I opened the curtains, and burning sunlight painted
everything in the room a rubicund gold. My mother jerked her head
toward her hands, shielding her eyes from the glowing sun. I opened
the window, letting the cool summer breeze sweep through the room,
cleansing the rancid air of its stench. My mother slowly opened her
eyes, as tears of joy streamed down her smooth face. She moved on
her own, for the first time in months, standing up and moving
toward the window. She leaned out the window, breathing in the
fresh air, and feeling free as a baby bird on its first flight.
All the things she saw were beautiful, the green grass, the
colorful flowers, but most of all, she saw Emm. Emm was outside by
the river playing. 
"Mama?" I asked, looking at the curious smile on her face.
"Yes?" She replied, leaving her gaze on Emm.
"I want to say that I'm sorry, you know, for not talking to you. I
guess I just didn't want to feel the pain, so I neglected you. And
I'm so sorry." Tears rolled off my cheekbone and landed on the
floor. "You don't know what kind of joy it gives me to see you
smile, to see the sun shining on your golden hair, and most of all,
to see you happy." I finished my talk with her by making sure she
would be able to get back to her bed fine, and then I left. 
Only four days had passed since I had gone back to talk to my
mother when it happened. I knew it had to happen sometime, but I
still wondered why it had to happen to her. My mother was a
beautiful and joyful woman, who served others, why did she have to
die so young? Her death was easier on me then the rest of my
family. My family didn't get to see that sparkle in her eye when I
did, and they didn't get to see her face turn a vivid peach when
she saw Emm playing. But I did, and I was lucky just for that. 
One year after her death, Jeremiah and I were married. We grew old
together and got to see our family raised in beauty. Every Sunday
possible, we spent with the whole family. The grandchildren and
great-grandchildren were beautiful people, and it brought joy to my
heart just to see them play. We created enough memories in a day to
last us a lifetime, when just one memory would have been enough.